your room smells of hookers.
And success
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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