We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me i tasted like america
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
