Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
