We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
