tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
