first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize