So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
