I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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