She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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