so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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