evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
