We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
