You're so nebulous sometimes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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