I want to make a zoo with you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
