I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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