Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
