He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
