So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
