I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
