Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
