why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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