its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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