I love black thongs
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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