I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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