It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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