need another drink. this is the easiest way
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
