if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize