You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
