White coat. Heels.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize