the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
now i know why i became what i already was.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
