Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
