The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
