So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
