so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
