Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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