You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
