I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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