YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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