She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
