...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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