i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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