it was like his penis was on wheels.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
