Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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