Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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