Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
