we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
