Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
