call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
