great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
