he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I touched a dick in church today
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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