just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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