I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
