HIV tests are more positive than that guy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
