i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its not stalking. its research.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
