So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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