I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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