At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
