Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
