I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
