You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is Oprah even human
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
