4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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