nut hugger
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
