You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
