my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
