thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
