So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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