I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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