It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize