Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
