Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
