Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
