She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
