Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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