He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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