just come out here and I will go home with you...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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