I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
