She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
