I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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