No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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