I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
