I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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