Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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