he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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