I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
MIDGETS
????
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
