Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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