the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You made out with two different species that night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
