if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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