Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
