I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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