bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
