I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
