So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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